Wednesday, February 15, 2012

A letter to boys

I wonder about you boys and your fetishes. I'm not talking about latex & ball gags, I mean the more pedestrian kind. I've seen all kinds of boys with all kinds of obsessions: boobies, booty, va-jay-jay, feet and even cuticles.  


I've even had to say, "Hey buster, I'm up here.  If you wanna nurse on somebody go back home to your mama!" 


I didn't really say that, but I wanted to!


When I see a boy I'm attracted to, I'm attracted to him as a whole.  I think it would be kind of weird if I were all obsessed over one specific part, like the man-bag for instance.


That's not to say I've got a thing for balls -- trust me, I don't -- so please don't send pictures, I'm just trying to make a point.


Girls are all about the person and boys are all about the parts.  I know I'm generalizing, but it's generally true.


Whenever I wear a low-cut top boys stare at my cleavage as if it was broadcasting the latest sports scores.  


And don't say, "If you don't want us to look then don't dress that way."  Sorry to burst your bubble but girls don't dress for boys, they dress for other girls. There's a clothing competition in the secret world of chicks that you've probably never even heard of.


In closing, if you do find a girl who loves your man-bag don't let her get away because loving a scrotum takes commitment: those things are seriously ugly.

12 comments:

  1. I have a man bag but its what I carry my phone and wallet in.

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  2. If you don't underestimate your parents you shouldn't underestimate men. We're not all the same.

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  3. Man-bags are what makes the world go 'round. Ha ha! -Mike

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    Replies
    1. But it takes a uh... lady purse to make it all work.

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  4. Replies
    1. I agree. I crossed over the line on this one.

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  5. You write an awful lot about male genitals for someone who claims not to like them.

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    Replies
    1. I never claimed not to like them. I like them plenty... just depends on who they're attached to.

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